Gazzetta Football Scozia

Boldness is needed, and we have gone for safety - the forces of conservatism have prevailed. I find myself seconding Graham Spiers' thoughts, which makes the situation doubly painful.

Read - Herald Sport - Why appointing Wattie is hardly the dawn of a brave new world

I think Walter Smith is a decent manager, and a great man-manager; he certainly proved that at Rangers in the 90s - all his players speak of him very highly. [Well, perhaps apart from Erik Bo Andersen.] That may help in the short-term; I doubt it will get us to Germany though.

On the downside, Watty was an inconsistent tactician (he had his moments though - against Leeds away in 92, and most Celtic games in the mid-90s) and his ability to recognise young talent was suspect - Barry Ferguson almost left the club before Advocaat took over. And it was Advocaat who re-engineered the Rangers youth system.

But perhaps it doesn't matter who's the manager for the next few years; maybe Walter's just the fall guy, or someone who can make the best of a bad job. Perhaps; but it only doesn't matter if Scottish football can sort itself out at all levels - from youth to SPL - so the next guy, or the one after him, has a crop of talent to pick from.

And I am just not sure I see anyone with the vision, drive, and talent to take on that task.

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In case you're booking up your trip to Belarus and are going via Moscow: Kenny from Kazakhstan recommends the Hungry Duck for a night out on a stopover.

This club guide describes it as "Moscow's first official rape camp." I'm not sure what that says about the company I keep, but I know I don't like it.

Read - eXile - Club Guide

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It's probably a wee bit unfair to be so scornful, but Romanov stands to lose an awful lot of money if he thinks Hearts will regularly fill a 50,000+ stadium and replace the Old Firm as the top dogs in Scottish football.

I'd love to see the Jambos get some investment to be a real third force (and stay in Gorgie) but not if it means bankruptcy down the line for them. His ambition is high but his plans will take years (generations) to realise, if they ever do.

Read - Scotsman Football - Romanov says Hearts can overtake Old Firm


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So the London TA (aka Lunnainn Albannaich aka Loony Alba) had their St Andrews do last week with Christian Dailly as the guest of honour, in a natty '21st Century Kilt' which he claims to wear around London from time to time.

I wasn't invited couldn't attend but apparently his speech was quite brief: "Cheats! F*cking cheats! F*cking diving cheats!"

See - Christian Dailly at the Loony Alba bash

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Well, at club level, maybe.

Last week was a good one for Scottish teams in Europe; the first I can remember for a while when all the teams pulled out results above expectations.

Most impressive was the Hearts result (you didn't think I'd say Celtic did you?). Celtic and Liverpool have each failed to win in Basle, who have developed a decent pedigree recently. Now the Jambos have qualification in their own hands with a 'home' (Murrayfield) game against Ferencvaros (not Fenerbahce, as I mistakenly said earlier - Ferencvaros are not the dirty cheats who should have had their goalie Rustu sent off for attacking Michael Mols and who got their just desserts when they lost every Champions League game that year). Hungarian football is coming out of some serious doldrums but it's a winnable tie for John Robertson's team.

Celtic managed to pull off a lucky draw in Barcelona despite being outplayed comprehensively (you didn't think I would give them credit did you?). But fair play to the hooped ones, a point is a point and it was also their first away point in Champions League play - ever! - in nine attempts. I read an interesting statistic after the game - Barcelona have a pretty dismal record against Scottish clubs in Europe - only two wins in something like eight attempts. And I think some of those were against a team with Hamish Macalpine in goal.

The mighty Gers started slow but then gubbed Grazer AK in the second half, probably the least impressive of the three results but still not bad at all; and the goal difference is good which will help if Rangers draw with AZ Alkmaar later this week (a tall order as by all accounts they are on fire). And is it only me that is still confused with the teams in the group - Auxerre, Grazer AK, AZ Alkmaar? It's like rearranging the same set of vowels and consonant sounds to get three different teams. Sort of.

For the last ten years we've been lucky to have one team in Europe after Christmas; it would be quite an achievement to have three teams this year, and it will definitely help our UEFA ranking going forward. Currently we are 9th in Europe, which makes you think: just how shite are all the other leagues?

For more info on Scotland in Europe, consult this neat site I just found - imaginatively called "Scottish Football in Europe" but hey, sometimes branding isn't everything. Did you know that Scottish clubs have lost 25 ties on away goals, but only won 5? Surely there's a lesson to be learned there.

Read - Scottish Football in Europe

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No, you don't need religion to fight at all. You don't even need a proper sport; check out this Eric-Cantona-meets-Michael-Jordan effort from a recent NBA basketball game.

Visit - The BasketBrawl Website

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SoS says Walter Smith will be officially appointed to the Scotland job on Thursday:

Read - Scotland on Sunday

The most interesting piece of the article is at the end: "Smith is the best man for the job." Err, on what basis? And why hide the killer statement at the end of the article - so you can run away without justifying it?
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God knows there were enough blow-job articles written about Henrik Larsson in the last 18 months, but in this piece Moira Gordon comes across like the president of a Duran Duran fan club interviewing Simon le Bon:

Read - Scotland on Sunday

It's a bit annoying because there's so much good stuff to be said about Boumsong on the park... the Herald had a better assessment of Boumsong the football player on Friday:

Read - Herald Sport

Every time I see the guy he's better than the last time - it's early to say but I honestly think this guy is the classiest defender I've ever seen in Scottish football (whether he turns out to be the best remains to be seen). He has been head and shoulders above everyone else on the pitch this season, including in European games - the Herald describes a moment when he turned a Graz striker inside-out. It was very cool to see.

He's being very polite in saying he's happy at Rangers, but Souness is right to be taking a close look at him - he's a #10m+ defender, even in this market (surely he's as good as Woodgate or Campbell or Ferdinand). I don't think Murray will be keen to let him go in January, but I can see McLeish being asked to line up a replacement for next season. Scottish football will be the worse for it.
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If McLeish ever gets sick of Marvin Andrews' sermons, he could always send him off to play for the East Kilbride Baptists or Irvine Nazarene in the Strathclyde Evangelical Churches League (stated objectives: "The use of football as a means of true Christian Fellowship and the proper use of said fellowship as a means of glorifying God and representing a good Christian witness"). I wonder if it's a Sunday league?

Visit - Strathclyde Evangelical Churches League

Not so sure what the Big Man (God, not Marvin) would have to say about Auchenfoyle's disciplinary record, though: 12 yellows and 1 red in 9 games... perhaps Satanic forces are at work?

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Scottish journalists must love Marvin Andrews - he can always be relied upon to come up with some nonsense. Latest bulletin: Satanic forces causing the events of last weekend's Old Firm game.

Read - Scotsman Football


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[reposted with correct link - thanks Kenny]

Admit it - wouldn't your bedroom wall look better with one of these on it:
Visit - Sport Photo Gallery - Scotland

[cheers to When Saturday Comes]

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Ludicrous article from the NY Times about the growth of soccer headgear in the States... with a few enterprising punters cashing in on the fears of soccer moms. Whatever happened to peer pressure? Anyone turning up for my school team with one of these would have been laughed off the squad.

Read - The New York Times

In a related piece of news, Alex McLeish has ordered a special piece of equipment for Peter Lovenkrands to be used in the next Old Firm game:


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Translation: You'll be paying more than they're worth, ya numpty.


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You have two teams from the same city.

Team A's support flies the flag of a foreign country. Team B's support is a little more diverse: they fly the flag of two foreign countries, as well as the flag of the union of those foreign countries with their own and a fourth.

Team B's support sing songs about a religious conflict in a foreign country. So does Team A's, but not as much.

Many of team A's most devoted fans support the concept of an infallible supreme spiritual leader, elected for life by senior members of that church. Team B's fans support the concept of an unelected hereditary monarchy to rule over their union of nations and to be the leader of the official church of one of the nations of that union.

Many of the supporters on both sides sing songs about a religious conflict in a foreign nation; many about battles which were fought hundreds of years ago. Less than 5% of those involved go to church regularly.

Two of the 22 players starting an important derby game are from the country in which the game is being played.

Two players, from a country hated by many of their own team's supporters and celebrated by the other team's supporters, are sent off.

One player is from a country celebrated by the other team's supporters but is in fact violently detested by those supporters. He in turn makes his disdain for them clear by spitting on a scarf of that team and verbally abusing the manager.

When you look at it objectively, it's just silly, isn't it?

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OK they've changed the words a bit and the tune is different but the chorus is similar. Sort of.

Read - U2 @ Macphisto.net [cheers Kenny]

Maybe if Rangers fans would start singing this version, we could all just get along?

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First Minister Jack McConnell takes the unusual step of speaking out about Saturday's game:
Read - Scotsman

I agree 100% with his comments; you only have to look at the picture illustrating the article to see the farcical nature of it all. Is this how Scotland is represented to the world? A bunch of Union-Jack wavers taunting/being taunted by a bunch of Tricolour-wavers? (I particularly like the Princess Di flag!)

The Guardian had a very thought-provoking article last week following the disgraceful scenes at the Spain-England game, suggesting that to really make a statement about racism, the English team should walk off the field:
Read - Guardian Football

While I applaud McConnell for speaking out - and he has done so more than once, and put action behind his words - nothing will really change until some bold steps are taken. If the songs being sung are incitements to sectarian violence, then arrest people for singing them; or threaten a Rangers-Celtic game behind closed doors and with no TV cameras. A couple of those and the problem will sort itself out.

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Gazzetta has been getting far too national-team-focused lately, something I've been conscious of, and there have been two main reasons for it: the ballyhoo over Berti ex-McVogts hogging the headlines; and the fact that there's nothing much of interest happening in the Scottish domestic scene.

Of course, I am being undeniably small-minded because by the latter I pretty much mean "nothing much of interest happening at the top of the SPL". Lots of interesting stuff has been going on all over Scottish football, but I'm sorry, at the moment I don't have that much time to read about it all, never mind write about it.

But, Saturday's Old Firm game has given me inspiration. While there's now competition for the SPL title, and lots to argue about, it's also given the hackerati a reason to mount the moral high ground again and sermonise at us.

Graham Spiers is on his usual pompous form, but is at least honest enough to note the hypocrisy of the media, and I do like his hierarchical breakdown of the game: bigotry/tribalism/venom/cheating/football.
Read - Herald Sport

He also points out the attraction of the madness; let's face it, we don't just go to the game to see pretty passing, do we? Some have referenced the infamous 2-2 OF game of October 1987 as a parallel for Saturday's events (when Roberts went in goal and Butcher, Woods, and Macavennie were sent off). I still rank that as my #1 game ever, probably for all the wrong reasons, but f*cking hell it was fantastic when that equaliser went in: 2-0 down with no goalkeeper and no captain, and you level the game 90 seconds from time, not a minute after Celt incarnate Peter Grant gestured a "2-1" sign in front of the East Enclosure?

Stephen Halliday in the Scotsman has a fairly complete summary of the events of the day, tempered with a level-headed and of the match from Jean-Alain Boumsong (perhaps not surprising because he is one of the few who kept his cool throughout).
Read - Scotsman

However in my opinion the Scotland on Sunday has the most exact summary of the game; and takes O'Neill to task for his "green-tinted" after-match comments:
Read - Scotland on Sunday

Thompson had to go; yes, Lovenkrands made the most of it but you touch someone's head with yours, and that's a red card (Duncan Ferguson went to prison for the same thing). Novo should have been booked; Camara and Vignal should both have been booked for their little kicks at each other, and they probably weren't because Camara would have been sent off.

Lennon should have been sent off about three times - his behaviour in the second half was astonishing. Not content with fouling Ricksen all over the place, he followed up every assault with a verbal tirade, and even turned on McLeish at one point. Gobbing on a Rangers scarf was just stupid. And Speaking of stupid, whatever Bob Malcolm did was dumb as well, and I'm glad the polis talked to him ("He's been arrested for impersonating a footballer," suggested one wag in our pub).

Of course I'm going to be biased; not as biased as the Celtic supporter watching in the same bar as me who claimed the referee was handing the game to Rangers, but I think there's a clear pattern here.

O'Neill, to my mind, has built a team based on high levels of aggression; or to put it in a less generous way, he has built a team full of thugs.

Ten minutes into John Hartson's first game in Scotland - against Killie at Rugby Park - he did a (massively late) knee-high tackle on a full-back by the corner flag. (I remember very well because I was in a bar in Dublin at the time and was worried I'd get belted by a native for complaining about it.) It was potentially a career-ending tackle; he wasn't sent off though, so he's been taking liberties ever since.

Sutton is also a thug but at least he can use stupidity as a defence; Thompson is a very good player but he's also far from shy in putting himself about - verbally and physically - and getting in people's faces ("playful slap" in an Old Firm game? Aye right). And Balde? When he's not a clumsy oaf he's running around elbowing people for fun. Only sometimes do the SFA take him to task.

And as for Neil Lennon: he gets dog's abuse not because he's an Irish Catholic - Celtic have had plenty of them over the years - but because when it comes to Rangers games, he's a dirty, fouling, mouthy scumbag.

I'm never going to be a Celtic fan, but there have been players and teams in the past I could at least respect. Tommy Burns' teams played good football (not good enough though!); earlier in the 90s you had big defenders like Stubbs, Elliott, Mowbray who were tough but fair. But this current Celtic team are as dislikeable a bunch of b*stards as I've witnessed.

Saturday was just the first time a referee has had the bottle to take them to task when they're up to their usual tricks.

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I read an article in the New Yorker last week about why Iraq is in such a state. A lot of informed comment laid the blame at the policy of "De-Baathification" - kicking out everyone who was a member of the Baath party from all positions of responsibility. This included doctors, engineers, civil servants... basically the middle-class white-collar people required to rebuild the country.

The policy is widely seen as a failure as it has (a) removed the people who made the country function (b) left no-one in their place (c) disenfranchised a large number of people who were willing to work with the new regime.

Although this policy failed in Iraq, I think it's the right thing for Scotland. A new manager won't be a magic wand but we do need to get rid of the Berti legacy, and fast, before morale is totally destroyed. Ironically, one of Berti's final acts - setting up this game - may have been the thing which accomplishes this, as it looks like Tommy B is out of the picture now. Thankfully.

Read - The Herald

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I arrived in London yesterday morning but due to a work commitment was unable to see the game live. I got back to my hotel around midnight and started watching the highlights (knowing the score) but - I am ashamed to admit this - I fell asleep. In the first half. Not long after their opening goal.

My only excuse is I was on less than four hours sleep from the night before; but still.


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I thought this was a joke when I first heard about it, but no, it's a real book:

Amazon.co.uk: Books: Celtic's Paranoia...All in the Mind?

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Here we go again. After two years of miserable "we're not fit to host a European Championship" crap (followed by browbeating about how we could have, really, but only after we'd lost the bid) the papers have already started on their "we can't host 2012" effort:

Read - Sunday Herald

Natasha Woods tries hard to cloud the argument in terms of priorities and opportunity cost, but she gives herself away several times - it's still the same old "we're too wee" rubbish that was similarly spouted to me by a Hong Kong accountant in Busan after the 4-1 debacle over there. He was talking about Scottish independence but it's the same old nonsense. When will these people understand what my girlfriend knows so well - size doesn't matter...

I'm sure there were miserable b**tards in Portugal yammering on about that nation not being big enough to host a tournament, but thankfully they weren't listened to and Portugal is all the better for it. I say go for it and screw the Irish this time.

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On the Moldova trip I got talking to a bloke from Edinburgh, ken (he'd had his tea - don't worry). I have no idea how conversation got round to this, as both of us are bluenoses, but he told me about a tribute record to Franck Sauzee, and I promised I'd look it up. I'd never have remembered except he told me the record company - Yummy Records (turns out it's spelled Yummi which so it took me a wee while to find). The song is by The Masters of Truemanship and it's called "The Man from Marseille."

Anyway - not a bad wee tune - listen for yourself, as it's online at their website:

Visit - Yummi Records (click on "Releases" then the number 2 to the left of the album cover)
[cheers Hughie]

Not sure it matches up to the Tartan Specials, but good enough for the Hibees I suppose.

[More info on the Sauzee tune at Mass Hibsteria]

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Some kid in Edinburgh has been separated from the rest of his class for wearing a red hand badge:
Scotsman.com - Pupil banned in badge row

[Why does this sort of stuff always happen in Edinburgh, or Ayrshire, or Lanarkshire, yet it's Glasgow that gets the bad PR?]

The father is claiming it's a breach of his son's human rights; not to get all Daily Mail on you but in my day, what the teacher said was the rule of law, so if he or she tells you to take your badge off, while you're in school, you take it off.

Personally I think it's all a load of bollocks; let the kid wear the badge and let the issue work itself out in that most cruel and unforgiving court - the playground.

PS. In doing a bit of research - trying to find out what the red hand truly represents - I discovered the beautiful irony that the red hand is the family crest of the O'Neill family:
Read - UK Travel Bureau
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My German was never that good and it's definitely rusty, but having encountered the German "sense of humour" I'd be surprised if this is a sophisticated piss-take.

Visit - Die Berti Vogts Fan-Seite

Hmm. Last updated 19 November 2003. Maybe they've gone off der Terrier like the rest of us.

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Yasser Arafat has announced he wants to be buried in a Newcastle shirt, Rangers shorts and 'Boro socks.

Apparently he wants to be laid to rest in the Gaza Strip!

[cheers Martin]

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Seems like the Burns candidacy is gaining some traction with the aid of some revisionist history propogated by Patrick Glenn in the Guardian:

Read - Guardian Unlimited Football - SFA home in on Burns to take up leading role

I love this sentence:
Even in private conversations, Burns would not betray his integrity by criticising Vogts, but in several we had he admitted to frustration over the manager's obstinacy, his tendency to listen politely but pay no heed to his assistant's guidance.

Which I read as:
Tommy would never criticise Vogts, but he thought he was a stubborn, useless wanker, and didn't agree with him at all, no way.

If Burns had misgivings about Vogts' management then he should have resigned his position. That may have precipitated a 'regime change' before we're out of the running for Germany, but he chose to keep quiet at the time. Sorry Tommy, you can't have it both ways. Saying after the fact that you weren't happy is the easy option and doesn't demonstrate leadership.

Even worse is this quote from Burns, and Glenn's followup:
'The game has changed in so many ways that it's not quite comparing like with like. In the context of modern football, there are a number of decent players around and there is evidence that we are starting to produce more than we have been over the past 20 years.'

Such a rationale will surely impress the SFA's chief executive, David Taylor, the president, John McBeth, and the vice-presidents, John Smith, Campbell Ogilvie and George Peat.

Meaning - Tommy doesn't think the boat needs rocking, so let's get him on board.

If it's coming down to a choice between Walter Smith and Tommy Burns, I know who I'd have. When Burns and Smith went head-to-head in Old Firm games, Smith came out tops almost very time; and that wasn't just due to Bryan Laudrup and Andy Goram. Smith's tactics were superior (4-5-1 at Parkhead with Laudrup on his own up front - 1-0 to Rangers) and so was his motivation (Rangers were a team that refused to be beaten; whereas Celtic had Cadete, di Canio, van Hooijdonk - see a pattern?). Many of the Celtic fans I know were happy to see the back of Burns.

[And I'm not even getting into the Jim Torbett affair, but I have it on good authority that Burns was happy to brush that one under the carpet, and that it was Fergus McCann who kicked him out of Parkhead.]

So, no way Tommy. You used to be a decent manager and you might do an OK job; but you're not the best man for it, and you're still unwilling to take responsibility for where we are now.

Now who does that remind me of?

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Not the official view of the Tartan Army in London, but one man's opinion, and a well-argued one at that, on the whole Berti saga.

Read - Lunnainn Albannaich

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Heard about this book recently from a patent lawyer at work:

Amazon.com: Books: How Soccer Explains the World : An Unlikely Theory of Globalization

He thoroughly recommended it, though the Amazon reviews are mixed. The author's basic premise is to view soccer as a microcosm of globalisation overall - the original exporting of the game (possibly after taking it from abroad in the first place), economic migration of players from the third world to the first, and the effect of large corporations. Maybe worth a look.

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At least Michael Grant is honest about the views of his paper during the last two years...

Read - Sunday Herald

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From a recent popbitch comments board posting (unedited):

Not particularly exciting, but in light of the recent Mc Vogts resignation, this may be apt. at the recent Scotland match in Chisinau, I was fortunate enough to see a senior & ageing SFA board member delving into a "lady" in a particularly saucy nightspot, who refused to leave the room next morning( match day ) & had to be encouraged to vacate the hotel with a sizeable wad of local lei.The need for an interpreter to negotiate these early morning dealings meant the tryst was not as secret as it should have been.

PS - A certain high profile & particularly vocal Scots red top hack may also have been caught out this way on the same eveing/ nest morning,but a posse of leather jacket clad lumpy Ethnic Russians were called to assist the lady in question - I dont have 1st hand knowledge of this & can only repeat what I have been told.

Moral - the mirror doesnt lie - if you are a po faced bespecled scots prick, then the chances of a E Bloc Stunna fancying you may mean she has her own agenda.

No comment! I can't post to the original, as it seems it is no longer on the site.

There was also a further comment referring to "The Scottish Play" - whatever could that mean?

[cheers Kenny]
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See - we're not bigots.
(Taped to every seat at Ibrox for the first home game of the season.)




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Read - BBC News [cheers Kenny]

Question: would you take four more years of Berti if it meant no more years of Bush?

Please answer by leaving a comment...
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This was posted on the Tartan Army messageboard by a representative of the SFA. A fairly dignified exit, in which he gets to take a parting shot at the press; although he's maybe still a wee bit deluded as to the large part that results had to play in his downfall.

It's interesting to note the initial media coverage of the resignation: a lot about the physical abuse, but not a peep about what Berti identifies as the root cause of that abuse - the media storm whipped up by the tabloid press. Why does that not surprise me?

Prediction for tomorrow: No, I'm not going to call the US election; but I do foresee a slew of articles in our glorious tabloids (and I include the Herald here) hitting back at Berti and saying his downfall was entirely of his own making - which is hypocrisy of the highest order, because the hackerati have been after him from day one.


PERSONAL STATEMENT: BERTI VOGTS

With great reluctance, myself and The Scottish Football Association, and in particular John McBeth and David Taylor, who have been a source of great strength and support, have made a joint decision to close this chapter in my life at the helm of Scottish International football.

From my point of view, the decision has been made with a heavy heart as I have enjoyed my tenure at the hub of the Scottish Football Team and the warmth that I have experienced from the people of Scotland.

I must say that the major factor in this decision has been the disgraceful abuse that I have suffered, especially of late. It has degenerated into a physical nature, especially on recent occasions where I have been spat upon. This is not acceptable behaviour in a civilised society and I know that the vast majority of Scots will join me in my disgust at this act by a very tiny minority. The abuse is something that people in public life must get used to, but now it is having a serious effect upon my home life. I cannot sit by, as no-one would, to be involved in the abuse that I have to endure. And it is this that has made this very hard decision inevitable.

But what these actions have proved has been the unacceptable power of the tabloid press to influence its readership. The opinions expressed mostly by journalists with little knowledge of the game certainly had a great effect on some of the fans. This is despite the input into the debate by influential "football people" such as arguably the most successful manager ever in British football, Sir Alex Ferguson, Graham Souness, a great Scotland Captain and the Manager who was at the helm of Rangers through a golden time, where they became a force to be feared throughout Europe. I have also heard and read informed opinions of Scottish football greats such as Kenny Dalglish, Martin O'Neill, Alex McLeish and Tommy Docherty, who have enviable records in the game and are respected throughout football. And I am grateful to my fellow international manager, Mark Hughes, for his analysis. He is seen as the man who revived Welsh football, on an occasion to my detriment. And only this week my predecessor, Craig Brown, entered the debate. I must say that I thank him for his comments that from a man, who understands Scottish International football first hand, are most welcome.

But I know that the opinions that have been expressed by a section of the press are not those of the majority of the Scottish people. The press have only expressed personal opinions. But it is impossible to have any right of reply in reality. In public life the media are in a position to make or break a person, and that cannot be justified.

I have to say that I have been touched by the unreserved support that my players have given me, especially my Captain, Barry Ferguson. I was proud that they stood shoulder to shoulder with me, when it would have been easy to turn their backs. But when the going got tough, they stood firm. I am really proud of them all and eternally grateful for that unity that I experienced both in and out of the dressing room.

Might I also say that it was not only I, but also the players who have been maligned by the press. They deserve better. They have been proud to serve their nation and did so to the very best of their abilities. I still have belief in my boys, all of them. I know that in time, and given support, they will develop into the team of my vision. They always gave their all, both for me and for Scotland. I could ask no more of them. I take away fond memories of my times with these men, some who I saw develop from boys into men, when they were thrown into the lions den.

I also must give my sincere thanks to my staff and all at the SFA, especially my great assistant, Tommy Burns, whose expertise, professional input and loyalty can't be appreciated enough. The support they gave me was always 100%. It was not a job for them, but a cause to fight for, one they still believe passionately in. I have made lifelong friends amongst my Scottish colleagues. They will never fade from my memories. When my back was against the wall, I felt great strength from the staff that supported my efforts. They all know who I refer to and they are always welcome wherever I may be in this World.

Good Luck Boys.

Berti Vogts


Go to - Tartan Army Message Board

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Gazzetta Football Scozia can exclusively reveal that a playground argument has riven the Scottish Football Association and caused the resignation of failed national team boss, Hans-Hubert "Berti" Vogts.

Vogts stormed out of Hampden Park earlier today "in a total huff" according to a Gazzetta insider. That same insider claims to have witnessed (second-hand) an argument between Vogts and his erstwhile boss, Taylor.

Apparently, the fatcat bigwig blazer-wearing chief executive summoned Vogts into his office and asked, "Gonnae no f*ck off then Berti?" Vogts responded with a lengthy and barely-comprehensible string of near-English which amounted more or less to a "Nein," to which Taylor replied, "How no?"

The argument escalated until Vogts stormed out of the office with what appeared to be a greener over his right cheek, muttering "Things are not in this way in a society civilised done." However to add final insult to injury, in a preplanned move SFA President Jack McGinn was crouching down on all fours right outside the door, and when Vogts walked out he tripped right over him and landed on his face. Several SFA International Committee members had arranged to be present and were said to be "pissing themselves with laughter."

A red-faced Vogts then went to his office, cleaned the gob off his face, and typed up his resignation statement, which was translated into a comprehensible form of English by Tommy Burns.

When contacted by Gazzetta, the SFA refused to deny the allegations listed, stating "Who did you say you were?"

Read - Sporting Life - Vogts quits as Scotland boss
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Read - Sporting Life - Ricksen urges Gers to calm down

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