Gazzetta Football Scozia

Like the boy says, people will believe what they want to believe.

Read - Herald Sport - ‘I’m not a Rangers fan,’ insists Davis


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"The Tartan Army takes your breath away," gushes Graham Spiers in the Herald. I'll tell you what takes my breath away: the unbelievable hypocrisy of this guy, which is just emblematic of the Scottish hackerati in general.

Read - Tartan Army takes your breath away - The Herald

One minute we're a drunken embarrassment to the nation (ironic given the behaviour of your average Scottish tabloid journo on tour) and the next we're god's gift to planet football. Takes your breath away, so it does.

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Incidentally, while on the topic of Half Man Half Biscuit... one of their most famous songs was "All I Want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague Away Kit". I had been led to believe that this title was in fact a lot cleverer than it sounds, as Dukla Prague were the communist party team in Czechoslovakia, and as such, heavily favoured so that they never needed an away kit - they would always use their home shirts and other teams would have to switch for them.

However according to the official HMHB website, this isn't so... their away kit at the time of the song was gold with maroon arms and trim. Somehow this leaves me very disappointed - what other certainties from my childhood are false?

Read - the Dukla Prague question (entry on 26/8/00)
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"Rod Hull is Alive, Why?" was the name of a Half-Man Half-Biscuit song from my youth. Rod had an unfortunate accident a few years back and is no longer with us; but Mark Hateley is.

He is the so-called "expert" commentator who is paired with Jock Brown on Setanta's live coverage. Watching Rangers v Killie a few weeks back it grew on me how little value he added, and today's Dundee v Rangers match had myself and other like-minded souls raging at him.

The expert analyst role is called a "color commentator" in the US, which I think explains well what the role is for - adding colo(u)r to the play-by-play (another American term) commentary. The best can do this well - Andy Gray being the master, explaining tactics and psychology and bringing his experience to the table.

But Hateley is simply a cliche machine, and that's being generous. Usually he simply repeats what Jock Brown describes, or explains what we can plainly see on the TV with our own eyes. Examples today: foreigners ("continentals") are prone to diving, not like us Brits; Prso couldn't quite reach enough to get his head to the ball; Rangers will be delighted that they've opened the scoring. Thanks Mark, we'd never have guessed.

Not sure what these guys get paid - I heard that #250 was the going rate for an afternoon as a studio analyst, so you probably get upwards of 500 quid for sitting on a TV gantry mouthing some platitudes. Not a hard way to make a living.
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Following on from the recent campaign to name a footbridge to Wembley after the late, great Slim Jim Baxter, comes a new twist... recognising that the "authorities" aren't going to accede to the popular wish, a new poll will allow us Scottish wags to recommend the demolition of Wembley (again!). Click on!

Enter now - Demolition from Channel4.com

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As if a certain recent documentary didn't throw enough petrol on the fire, now we have this scheme - MoJo would have to be mad and stupid to turn up in public in front of 25,000 Celtic supporters.

Read - The Herald - Maurice Johnston invited to play for both sides of the Auld Firm

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Peterhead are promoted following their win over Elgin tonight, leaving them 31 points ahead of their nearest challenger with 10 games to play.

The scary thing is Peterhead are only second in the table - Gretna are seven points further ahead.

Read - Sporting Life - Scottish Division 3

So at the beginning of March, it's all over in Division 3, bar who gets to lift whatever trophy they have for the title. Has there ever been a scenario when promotion is decided so soon in the season? Are Peterhead and Gretna that good, or is the rest of the division just really dire?

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I read "Oi, Ref!" a few years back - nothing to write home about but it had its moments.

Basically it's about an English hoolie-turned-professional-ref, who becomes the first 'foreign' ref to do an Old Firm game. But by some bizarre turn of events (can't remember exactly - something to do with meeting up with an old friend while in Glasgow) he ends up drinking in the Nile Bar in Glasgow hours before kickoff. Yes, the Nile Bar on West Nile St, aka "The Blue Nile", one of the most Rangers bars in Glasgow (or at least it used to be). I think he even mentions Tina Turner on the jukebox.

Can you imagine how funny that would be - there would be civil war in Scotland if that were ever to happen in real life...

PS. He doesn't give the Gers dodgy penalty but I think he did rule a Sellik goal offside - correctly

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Couldn't agree more with this Sunday Herald article on the 'dodgy penalty' outcry:
Read - Sunday Herald - Calls for SFA inquiry will fall on deaf ears and end in ridicule

In the short-term Hearts should be a lot more concerned with the behaviour of their players - ie. manhandling an official - contrast John Robertson's position (basically, condoning it) with that of Harry Redknapp at Southampton and the recent similar incident there. Down that road lies anarchy; it's hard enough to be a referee already.

[By the way - I don't know which Celtic website posted the linesman's address - but that is shocking behaviour and increasingly typical of an element of Celtic's support; numerous attacks have been made on officials and their homes in recent years. Celtic have been at least as successful as Rangers recently so why they still feel they need to do this is beyond me.]

Clearly the Jambos haven't thought through the implications of their request. It will be rejected out of hand - even I know that the SFA is a rule-bound institution, and the referee's decision is final; the only caveat being the use of TV evidence to punish a player for an offence the refereeing staff missed. So there is simply nothing the SFA can do, per their rulebook.

However this whole issue of bias allegations is worth an investigation - but it needs to be approached in the cold light of day. Wait till the end of the season, or the SFA (or SPL) AGM, and propose an independent review there. As a Rangers fan I'm on the end of plenty allegations of referee favouritism - and most of them are, frankly, pish. But I'd welcome a review of refereeing training, selection, and standards maintenance.

If there are biased refs and linesmen out there, I'd want them gone too - because Rangers are good enough to win the league without them.

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...and I'm willing to bet every last one of them will be pish.

Read - Guardian Unlimited Football - Hollywood wakes up to the call of the world's biggest game

[Message to Robert Duvall - two wrongs don't make a right.]

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Craig Bellamy is not exactly making a fresh start in Glasgow:

Read - Guardian Football - Bellamy blasted for money brags


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